The following telephone exchange between room-service and a guest at a hotel in Asia was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

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Hotel:  Morny, ruin sorbees.

Guest:  Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

Hotel:  Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??

Guest:  Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Hotel:  Ow July den?

Guest:  What??

Hotel:  Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch?

Guest:  Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

Hotel:  Ow July dee baychem ... crease?

Guest:  Crisp will be fine.

Hotel:  Hokay. An San tos?

Guest:  What?

Hotel:  San tos. July San tos?

Guest:  I don't think so.

Hotel:  No? Judo one toes?

Guest:  I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo onetoes' means.

Hotel:  Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?

Guest:  English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

Hotel:  We bother?

Guest:  No, just put the bother on the side.

Hotel:  Wad?

Guest:  I mean butter ... just put it on the side.

Hotel:  Copy?

Guest:  Sorry?

Hotel:  Copy ... tea ... mill?

Guest:  Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.

Hotel:  One Minnie. Ass strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?

Guest:  Whatever you say.

Hotel:  Ten jew berry mud.

Guest:  You're welcome.

photo credit: linkogecko In the "too-good-not-to-post" department, the following is a bricklayer's accident actual (verbatim) report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This apparently is a true story.

Dear Sir "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me, this explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.

"The People on the Rock" (2009) from Garrett Wesley Gibbons on Vimeo.

The above video is a 45-minute documentary on the people of Gibraltar that very effectively describes Gibraltarians as a people and our very unique cultural and linguistic quirks and also tries to some extent to look into part of the political journey that Gibraltar has been through in its recent history. So when I start speaking gibberish with you and tell you that something is "Kicks por si pega" or "stay here a licquin doi" you may understand some of what I'm saying. hahaha! Enjoy.

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The Administrative Assistant is hard at work....... Technorati Tags: Aaron Baw, WildOx Blog

(HT: Scott Hodge)

• ... McDonalds refuses to serve you coffee because they are afraid you'll sue them if the jerks start while you are drinking it.
•  ... your pastor wears a crash helmet and knee pads when he steps onto the platform.
• ... you don't tell your kids to 'sit still' in church any more.
• ... at the gas station you find yourself shouting "More, MOre, MORE!" to the gas pump.
•  ... deep bowing has gotten rid of those pesky love handles.
•  ... your church aerobics class takes place During praise and worship time.
•  ... you think of the floor, as an old friend.
• ... someone yells "Revival FIRE!" and you immediately "stop, drop and roll".
• ... your pastor has a difficult time finishing a sentence, much less his message.
• ... after church, you find yourself asking people if they have seen your car.
• ... when you are getting a salad at a salad bar, some little kid yells "look Mom, a salad shooter"
• ... you are afraid of going to Kmart anymore because at times you draw more attention than the flashing blue light.
•  ... you find yourself asking others, "Did you feel that?", and realize that you now experience personal earthquakes.
•  ... you spend more time getting into your car after church than you did getting ready to come to church.
• ... when picking out new clothes, you consider how they will look against the color of the sanctuary carpet.
•  ... the 1 hour church service that used to be boring is now 3 hours long and seems too short.
• ... church services don't start until everyone has crawled out of the prayer room and into the sanctuary.
• ... instead of a "cry room", your church has a "laugh room".
• ... the phrase "carpet burn" comes up at lease one time, when talking with church members.
• ... the "town drunk" is a member of your ministry team.
• ... your closet is divided into two sections - clothes that are appropriate for falling, and those that are not.
• ... you find yourself praying that the bible answer man will be struck by holy laughter during a live broadcast.
•  ... when you break a fingernail, you blame it on spiritual warfare.
• ... you develop a slight hand tremor, and a prayer line forms in front of you during ministry time.
• ... your Pastor begins shining the church announcements on the ceiling via the overhead so all can read them.
• ... going to church involves a discussion as to who is going to be the designated driver after the service.

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...we are going to do them like this: Canonball! If you get this via email or RSS, please log-on to the blog here to check it out (HT: Quentin M)