It has been said that it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness around you.

In an era where frightening statistics are being hurled around, decrying the collapse of the moral fabric of society, lighting a candle calls for uncommon courage.  Never has this matter been more pressing than with the “collapse” of the institution of marriage.

A recent study found that the most common life-stage for divorce is right after the youngest child leaves the home.  It seems that the “empty nest syndrome” is more of a wake-up call to all - nurture your relationship and make sure you have something worthwhile left in the wake of your children leaving the home.

How can we uphold married life?  How can we work on and invest in our marriages?  How can we light a candle, a candle that will dispel the clouds of these statistics?

On the practical level these are some great ideas on how to invest in your marriage:

1.  Date night.

It does not have to be something fancy.  It does not even have to  be at night.  The main point is to schedule regular blocks of time in your diary in order to date your spouse.  This block of time is sacred.  Take a walk in the park, go out for a nice meal, or simply enjoy a nice cup of coffee together.

2.  Anniversaries and birthdays.

Do not forget these!  Anniversaries are part of your shared history together (see below) and you should capitalise on their significance.  This past July, Annabelle and I celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary!  We decided to really splash-out  and stole-away for a weekend break at a nice Hotel/Spa on the Costa del Sol in Spain.  I am including some of our pics for your curious eyes!

3.  Love is spelt: T.I.M.E.

Modern life does war against this, but simply taking the time to slow down and spend time enjoying each other’s company, is so worth it.  Time really is the currency of love.  When was the last time that you actually held each other’s hands and watched a sunset together?

4.  Create a shared history.

This really is a no-brainer, and something that is implicit in the previous points.  The greater your store of good times, challenges overcome, and treasured moments, the more your heart will be grounded in, and drawn to, the strengths of your special relationship - anchoring you both together in the face of any winds of adversity that may come your way.

One candle may not be enough, but all of our candles, burning and shinning brightly, can and will make of us a city set on a hill for all to see.  Every person CAN invest in marriage.  Every person SHOULD invest in marriage.

The darkness is real and it is there - statistics do not lie - it is time to fight back!  Spa, anyone?

Steve Jobs is a master speaker!  This speech pretty much sums it all up for me.  Really inspirational!!!

Stay hungry....  Stay foolish.

I am continuously challenged by the diverse and competing demands on my time and attention. In order to address this, I find myself returning time and time again to the wisdom of the ancient ones that have gone before me. The monastic tradition in the Church deconstructed their lives in such a way that they primarily focused on two pillars: Prayer and Work. The "Ora et Labora" motto has galvanized and motivated a movement that has withstood the test of time, and many believe is increasingly relevant in our overloaded and stressed culture. It's alright I am not turning into a monk. What I am doing, however, is gleaning from some of their wisdom and practices in order to enrich my own life and spirituality. I am applying "Ora et Labora" in my own life, albeit within the context of married and family life, career development, workplace ministry, and pastoring a small but very dynamic church. Ora et labora. The deconstruction of life into work and prayer is meaningful to me because I find that this is the balance that I try to achieve in everyday life at ground-level. You see, "Work-Life balance" does not work for me. The reason for this is that my work is life…….and I do not check my life at the door to my office and become a zombie-automaton from nine to five. I am pursuing the idea of "flow" where life becomes a continuous movement between working, spirituality, family, rest, fun and fellowship. This is the "Clock", the practical hands-on issue of scheduling my time, making sure that demands for my attention do not crowd-out other "higher-order" priorities that form the guiding vision or "Compass" for my life. The Celtic Knot At another higher level (33,000ft level), a more strategic focus means that I must have three fundamental components in my life and ministry that will direct the way my "work and prayer" flow happen at the day-to-day runway level. This is best represented by a Celtic Knot (HT: Eric J. Swanson) where each of the three points symbolizes three words that are taking on a lot of meaning for me: Contemplation; Community and Cause. To put it in less "Churchy" language, think Believe, Belong, and Bless, or even Faith, Community and Mission. These are the higher-order priorities that are the compass for my journey in life. Contemplation involves deepening my relationship with God, turning inward to experience God, seeking His face in the Word and often simply enjoying His embrace, His love, relishing His promises over my life. This is the way that I "refuel" my soul, recharge my batteries and build my faith and passion. The busier I get, the more of a priority my inner life must take. I cannot afford not to pray and be near the presence of God. Community involves belonging. Humans are creatures of community. We crave deep relationships and connections with other people. I find that many of my relationships with people, even within church, are at a very superficial level. I am making it a top priority in my life to deepen my heart connections with people who can pour out into me, and build me up and encourage me, holding me accountable my heart's wildest dreams. Cause involves our mission to bless a broken world. This involves getting to know people – developing relationships with people and understanding their hurts, disappointments, desires and hang-ups – then praying for them and introducing a supernatural encounter into their situation that will make them experience the love of God. This makes all the difference. Life always pushes me to attend to the "Clock" first and then the "Compass". I am learning to turn this the other way around and make sure that my guiding compass (Contemplation, Community and Cause) press upon the use of my time in order to ensure that my life actually counts for something. How about you? What are you doing today that will give direction and purpose to your daily activities?