It has been said that it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness around you.

In an era where frightening statistics are being hurled around, decrying the collapse of the moral fabric of society, lighting a candle calls for uncommon courage.  Never has this matter been more pressing than with the “collapse” of the institution of marriage.

A recent study found that the most common life-stage for divorce is right after the youngest child leaves the home.  It seems that the “empty nest syndrome” is more of a wake-up call to all - nurture your relationship and make sure you have something worthwhile left in the wake of your children leaving the home.

How can we uphold married life?  How can we work on and invest in our marriages?  How can we light a candle, a candle that will dispel the clouds of these statistics?

On the practical level these are some great ideas on how to invest in your marriage:

1.  Date night.

It does not have to be something fancy.  It does not even have to  be at night.  The main point is to schedule regular blocks of time in your diary in order to date your spouse.  This block of time is sacred.  Take a walk in the park, go out for a nice meal, or simply enjoy a nice cup of coffee together.

2.  Anniversaries and birthdays.

Do not forget these!  Anniversaries are part of your shared history together (see below) and you should capitalise on their significance.  This past July, Annabelle and I celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary!  We decided to really splash-out  and stole-away for a weekend break at a nice Hotel/Spa on the Costa del Sol in Spain.  I am including some of our pics for your curious eyes!

3.  Love is spelt: T.I.M.E.

Modern life does war against this, but simply taking the time to slow down and spend time enjoying each other’s company, is so worth it.  Time really is the currency of love.  When was the last time that you actually held each other’s hands and watched a sunset together?

4.  Create a shared history.

This really is a no-brainer, and something that is implicit in the previous points.  The greater your store of good times, challenges overcome, and treasured moments, the more your heart will be grounded in, and drawn to, the strengths of your special relationship - anchoring you both together in the face of any winds of adversity that may come your way.

One candle may not be enough, but all of our candles, burning and shinning brightly, can and will make of us a city set on a hill for all to see.  Every person CAN invest in marriage.  Every person SHOULD invest in marriage.

The darkness is real and it is there - statistics do not lie - it is time to fight back!  Spa, anyone?

I have just finished reading Never eat alone, by Keith Ferrazzi. Some good points are to be found in this tome, worthy of immediate application. Ferrazzi sees a world in which your network, or circle, or tribe, now occupies the place that organizations used to occupy. This fluid tribe provides value, and demands the adding of value from us. It is a manifesto for the investment of our time, and energies, into helping others - The benefit that we receive is that we are helped along to achieve our own aims and goals when we do not manipulate the tribe to achieve these.

I for one will try to not eat alone as much in future.

  Friday is for friends here at the WildOx Blog.  We cast the spotlight on one of my favourite people on the planet, Pastor Kris Vallotton.   I love Kris Vallotton. He must be one of my favourite people on the planet! I met him in 2005 in Bethel Church, Redding, California and the guy is so genuine! Pastor Kris is due in Madrid in December for a conference organized by my peeps at the Centro Cristiano Cuatro Vientos, and I am really anticipating awesome God-stuff breaking-out there. He has written an incredible article on becoming an apostolic people that resonates so much with what God is laying on my heart lately!

Extending the Kingdom is more than just a humanitarian effort. Healings, deliverances, and supernatural encounters are called “signs” because they point to the fact that a hand has pierced the veil of a superior kingdom and displayed the wonders of His world. Miracles are simply the natural laws of Heavens world being superimposed over an inferior, earthly ecosystem.

This stuff just plain excites me! It makes my day! Go read the whole article on his website (link). He also shares on the benefit of hearing prophesies spoken over other people because like that you then have the opportunity of relating to that person and seeing that person as God sees him/her. If this is true then the implications of this are huge! It means that as an apostolic (sent) people, we need to shift the basis of all of our relationships (and all of our relating with people, institutions, organizations and Governments, whether they are nice or mean, dirty or clean) from what we think of them to what God thinks of them and sees in them. WOW. This is making my head spin so much that I think I'll just sign-off for now and mull this over for the next few hours. You should too.